15 (Short) Monologues on God
(May 25, 2002; written for Mike's 21st birthday, making fun of someone else's rather longer set of rather less self-aware monologues.)
Ruminations on God:
1. God is dead.
2. God is life.
3. God got Nietzsche in the end.
4. Maybe Tooth Fairy money actually comes from God, confused into thinking you're being held hostage and ransomed off bit-by-bit. After all, everyone who leaves teeth out eventually ends up with him again.
5. God is responsible for all of life's evils, but also all of its joys. Kind of like living with a manic-depressive big brother.
6. You are your own God, and thus must ruminate on yourself. Take a moment.
7. God is love. Thus, we are divinity in and of ourselves.
8. God probably could make a hot dog so big he couldn't eat it all, but it'd crush our universe, so it's best not to ask him to try.
9. God is whatever you need him to be, the ultimate form of dogma, whether you want to admit it or not.
10. God is the epitome of both malevolence and benevolence, and thus means nothing, for a neutral force is moot.
11. God's pretty big, I guess.
12. God is beauty as well as sorrow, so really, you have a lot to thank him for, even if he pisses you off sometimes.
13. God is a one-man karma crew. Yo.
14. Maybe there is no God, or any divine. The world would mean a lot less and be a lot colder, though.
15. We are God, because we are all one, shaping our destiny as infinity unfolds itself before us in a thousand branching paths of opportunity and epiphany.